So tonight, we are driving back from Zanesville and we stopped at McDonalds for dinner. We ordered our food and drove off.

I handed Addison her hamburger.

Addie: Dis have bun?

Amanda: Yes

Addie: Where my teck-up (ketchup)?

Josh: You don’t have any!

Amanda: You also don’t have any mustard.

Addie: Where my diet?

Josh: Where’s your Diet?

Addie: Yes?

Josh: You don’t get Diet, you get Lemonade

Addie: OH

Amanda: Laughing while thinking we probably should cut down on the consumption of diet pop in our house.

This morning we arrived at day-care. As we were getting out of the car, Ava’s friend Joseph gets out of his car.

Joseph: Hi Ava

Ava: Who that?

Josh: That’s your friend Joseph

Ava: Hi Joesph

Ava:

Ava: He’s Cute

Amanda: *snickering*

I am just going to go with the obvious and say he’s an adorable kid.

Addison has been ill all weekend. She started with a stomach ache and other stomach issues on Saturday night while we were at dinner and getting ready to go to Disney on Ice. We did see Disney on Ice but Addie grew worse over the rest of the weekend. She became a bit clingy, ran a low grade fever, and had the worst diarreah evah! It got to the point that we were concerned with dehydration. However, as of last night, she’s happy as a clam (where did this come from?), healthy, and back to causing trouble.

Disney on Ice was a great show. We saw 100 Years of Magic. Addie and Ava were all into it even though it was fairly late.  Addie liked the princess skating and Ava liked Milan. Ava did not care so much for the ending when they shot off the fireworks, but overall she thought it was great. I think the best part was the fact that they got light wands. Addie promptly broke hers when we got inside and we had to replace hers (because she thought hers wasn’t nearly as cool as Ava’s). Overall, a lot of fun (the adults even enjoyed it) and we have some pictures which I will post when I have a moment.

I’m going to start something new where every week I pick one of the words my girls threw together. Typically, they are very clear talkers. However, we occasionally get one of those words that is mashed together and is hysterical. I’m hoping we get enough to populate a word a week and I will try to aim for Sunday nights to post it. So, here is this weeks word of the week.

The word is Snore-tato (like potato)!

We were driving home from work earlier this week and I looked out over a field. There was a little wind tornado of snow and I said “Look, a snow tornado”. Ava immediately perked up and looked out the window. Meaning to repeat what I said she yelled “Look, a snore-tato”. Of course, much laughing ensued when she realized what she had said.

The following conversation took place the other night while driving home from Newark;

Ava: *sigh* I really wish I could go to the Moon someday

Amanda: Well in order to go to the Moon, you’ll need to become an astronaut

Ava: [in the most pitiful head-hung hunched over posture she could muster]  Well…..I’m just afraid of rocket ships

Josh: Ava, how in the world can you be afraid of rocket ships?!?!

Ava: Well we don’t have to be astronauts to go into space

Josh: Well technically…

Ava: Well, I just don’t want to go to space because it’s really dark

Amanda: Well, what if you took a flashlight?

Ava: Well…..hmmmm…..

Ava is one of the funniest kids I’ve ever met. On one hand she has this unshakable irrationality on every topic you can think of and on the other hand she’s a constant worrier. Sure makes for some interesting, albeit comical conversations.

This has been a long week.

Tuesday morning at 1:30 AM, I woke up with a tight chest. I had several other things going on including racing heart, heavy feeling, numb hands, and something that can only be described as somebody pinching my heart to make it uncomfortable. This went on for about 2.5 hours where I would fall asleep only to wake up again in pain. I finally fell back to sleep with the intention of going to my General Practitioner (Dr. B) when I woke up.

I rolled out of bed at 10:30 AM (I took the morning off and worked later that evening). I felt way off. I had a bit of a heavy feeling with my chest tightening every so often. I went to my appointment with Dr B who felt I had a very large panic attack based on my symptoms. He stated that the numbness from my hands could have been hyperventilating even though I don’t remember having trouble breathing. He prescribed an anti-anxiety pill and told me to take it easy. This was after he did an EKG to determine that my heart was beating correctly. He did schedule me for some more involved test to make sure it wasn’t my heart.

I went home and sat in a chair on my work laptop for the rest of Wednesday afternoon. Throughout the afternoon, I would feel periods of chest pain. Very sharp and very painful. I started to get more and more worried. By about 6:30, I called Dr B on the emergency line and explained what I was feeling. He still felt it wasn’t my heart, but I should be looked at just to verify there was no underlying cause as the pain shouldn’t be there now that the attack was over.  He advised me to go to the ER.

So, I went to the ER. Apparently, if you go to the ER complaining of Chest Pains, you don’t have to wait to be seen. I was in and out of the ER in 1.5 hours which is like a miracle. After another EKG, being hooked to a monitor, and having some chest X-rays taken, it was determined that I have Costochondritis. While that sounds terrible, its really just Chest Wall Pain where the joints of my rib cage have become inflamed (read the link for more information). The doctor felt that this was some sort of reaction to the panic attack which was causing the pain. He advised that I take 400 mg of Ibuprofen 3 times a day to help with the pain/inflammation of the joints and use a heating pad.

It has been amazing how much the Ibuprofen has helped. I can tell when its starting to wear off, the pain becomes unbearable. The heating pad also reduces the pain and makes it so I can function. I have to stay on the Ibprofen for the next week. I’m also resting and trying very hard to remember that nothing is worth this much worry/panic.

On a lighter note, my doctor said that a dream could set this off. To my body, stop dreaming about things that make me panic. That was the extent of my week. Ava has felt the need to continually ask if I’m OK, what the doctor was wearing, how you say blue (the ER doctors name was Dr. Blue) in Spanish, and if my chest is beating normally. I’m glad she’s concerned about me.

This post comes a few days late, but well worth it.

Saturday afternoon, we put Addie down for a nap. In order for Addison to fall asleep at home, we have to shut her door. If we don’t, she runs around like a crazed chipmunk chucking her toys around the house she likes to leave her room. Because of this, we put pull-ups on her since we can’t always reach her quickly enough to get her to the bathroom when we are downstairs.  We didn’t have any pull-ups upstairs and we are too lazy to walk downstairs and get a pull up so Josh decides to put a diaper on her. He gets the diaper on her, kisses her, and puts her down for a nap.

About 45 minutes later, he goes in to check on her since he can still here her playing. He looks over on the bed and she’s bent over, playing with toys, and her naked butt cheeks are up in the air. This freaks him out and he starts hunting around for the diaper. He locates it on top of her dresser, neatly wrapped, with some wet wipes on top of it. He checks the diaper and she pooped (of course, didn’t yell for us at all) and proceeded to changer her diaper herself. She got the diaper off, with all contents inside and she even got a wet wipe out and cleaned herself up.

Her response: “all keen daddy”.

Josh’s reponse: “oh good god” as he searched the room for anything that she might have dropped, smeared, coated, thrown, mashed, or otherwise made a mess with.

The best part, nothing was located, her bottom was clean, and we found a pull-up for her.

Next time baby doll, yell for daddy!

While I was at our meeting in Charleston, Josh decided to clean up the house. One of the things he did was carry his multiple cups of coffee downstairs from the computer room to the kitchen so they can be cleaned. Of course, he dropped one.

The drop started at the top of the stairs, and bounced/rolled down the steps (we have 16 steps) and made one heck of a huge mess. According to Josh (and Ava), there was coffee all over the floor, the walls, the high part of our hallway (about 10-12 feet of the floor over the stairwell), the ceiling at the bottom of the stairs, the wall in the living room and it went from about halfway into the living room to halfway into the dining room. He, of course, cleaned this all up except for the ceiling where he couldn’t get the coffee stains out.

So, he was walking down the stairs the other day and says “Wow, thats some really cool abstract art!!!”

Yeah, if your idea of abstract art is coffee stains on the ceiling from where you dropped your week old coffee down the stairs while trying to clean up after yourself then I agree – definatly abstract art. If not, then its just a lovely stain that you will be painting over soon. Get that pal – PAINTING.OVER.IT.

A 2 year olds Knock Knock joke.

Addie: Knock knock

Daddy: Whose there?

Addie: Trees

Daddy: Trees who?

Addie: Oranges

Addie & Ava: *laughing*

Before I start into this post, I just want to apologize for the lack of posting the last week. I had to take a business trip out of town and there wasn’t a lot of time for kid stories. So, with that, I bring you the Misadventures of Mr. Mom (bwah ha ha).

Last Sunday, I left around 10:30 AM to fly to Charleston, SC. The flights were smooth and I spent the afternoon with my bosses and coworkers watching the AFC and NFC games to see who would play in the super bowl. That’s right folks, you heard correctly, I watched football games and *gulp* hung out at a bar. It was a good time and was nice not hearing “Mommy” every three seconds.

However, this story is not about me. It’s about Mr. Mom (aka: Josh). I was out of the house for 5 days (I left Sunday and flew back home on Thursday). During that time, riots ensued, hairbows flew, and a tetanus shot was needed, Josh handled things well.

Sunday night, my in-laws came up and spent some time with the kids. Ava asked Grandma to fix her Belle Bear (a stuffed bear dressed like Princess Belle) because her crown had fallen off. While Grandma spent time doing this, Ava played with the needles and tomato (which I will stop here and point out that I remember doing this while my grandma sewed stuff when I was around) and Josh, like the watchful daddy he is, kept telling her to put them away. Fast forward to Monday night, Josh and the kids are eating dinner at the table. Josh goes to stand up and ends up with a needle sticking out of his toe about an inch and a half. After some loud words, Ava crying, Ava blaming herself, then blaming her daddy, and then her grandma, Josh gets himself cleaned up. Fast forward to Thursday, Josh gets a tetanus shot because he hasn’t had one in the last 5 years.

Right before I left, I taught Josh how to do Addie’s hair. Ava’s hair isn’t so bad because its trained to stay off her face. However, Addie’s hair hangs in her face and drives her crazy (and me too). I taught him how to use the comb, pull it back, and use the rubber bands to secure the hair. His first attempt went pretty well. His second, never happened as he chickened out and had her wear headbands all week. It’s always funny to see the “fashion” that daddy decides on when I’m gone. To any parents in Ava or Addie’s class this past week, I apologize for the way they look and promise that I will try to keep the mismatched patterns, clothes, and shoes at bay (ok, the shoes matched, but I like to tease Josh).

I guess that Addie also had a really hard time this week with me being gone. Ava morphed into a sweet potato who was willing and ready to help (what the hell man? I leave and she gets all helpful?) while Addie turned into the demon spawn a cranky defiant two year old (good girl, missing your mommy). I guess that shows very clearly that Ava is her daddy’s girl and Addie is her mommy’s girl.

Ahhh to be home again. I love the sound of the kids in bed after a day of terrorizing everything in their path. I think I’ll go hug them again while they sleep because being away from the terrible two for that many days really plays with a mommy’s emotions (and apparently a daddy’s arm muscle and his sanity).

I love this show. It’s cute, it’s wholesome, it doesn’t drive me bat-**** crazy I can watch it, and for whatever reason, my girls love it. If you don’t watch, it’s about a repairman who has tools that are alive. They talk and help Manny do his work around town. Each tool has their own personality. There are 8 tools and Manny.

The little blue screwdriver (flathead) is named Turner. He’s somewhat of a pain in the ass complainer who doesn’t like change or when things go wrong. He’s also got a bit of a sarcastic side and has a streak going with Kelli, the hardware store owner, about whether or not she has what they need (she always does, even though he thinks she can’t possibly have the item). 

This morning, we are in the car headed to work and Ava is talking about Handy Manny.

Ava: I know, we can all be Handy Manny. I will be Dusty (the saw), Addie can be Squeeze (the pliers), Mommy can be Rusty (the Monkey Wrench) and Daddy can be Turner.

Daddy: What are you saying?

Mommy: *Laughing* Oh, she pegged you.

Daddy:

Daddy: *trying not to laugh*

Unfortunatly, Ava thought we were laughing at her, so we had to explain that we weren’t laughing at her, but at Daddy. If you know Josh, you know he’s a bit of an old fart crumudgeon, stuck in a 30 year olds body. If you don’t know Josh, by all means, catch an episode of Handy Manny and watch for Turner the Flathead Screwdriver. They really are one in the same!