While I was at our meeting in Charleston, Josh decided to clean up the house. One of the things he did was carry his multiple cups of coffee downstairs from the computer room to the kitchen so they can be cleaned. Of course, he dropped one.

The drop started at the top of the stairs, and bounced/rolled down the steps (we have 16 steps) and made one heck of a huge mess. According to Josh (and Ava), there was coffee all over the floor, the walls, the high part of our hallway (about 10-12 feet of the floor over the stairwell), the ceiling at the bottom of the stairs, the wall in the living room and it went from about halfway into the living room to halfway into the dining room. He, of course, cleaned this all up except for the ceiling where he couldn’t get the coffee stains out.

So, he was walking down the stairs the other day and says “Wow, thats some really cool abstract art!!!”

Yeah, if your idea of abstract art is coffee stains on the ceiling from where you dropped your week old coffee down the stairs while trying to clean up after yourself then I agree – definatly abstract art. If not, then its just a lovely stain that you will be painting over soon. Get that pal – PAINTING.OVER.IT.

A 2 year olds Knock Knock joke.

Addie: Knock knock

Daddy: Whose there?

Addie: Trees

Daddy: Trees who?

Addie: Oranges

Addie & Ava: *laughing*

Before I start into this post, I just want to apologize for the lack of posting the last week. I had to take a business trip out of town and there wasn’t a lot of time for kid stories. So, with that, I bring you the Misadventures of Mr. Mom (bwah ha ha).

Last Sunday, I left around 10:30 AM to fly to Charleston, SC. The flights were smooth and I spent the afternoon with my bosses and coworkers watching the AFC and NFC games to see who would play in the super bowl. That’s right folks, you heard correctly, I watched football games and *gulp* hung out at a bar. It was a good time and was nice not hearing “Mommy” every three seconds.

However, this story is not about me. It’s about Mr. Mom (aka: Josh). I was out of the house for 5 days (I left Sunday and flew back home on Thursday). During that time, riots ensued, hairbows flew, and a tetanus shot was needed, Josh handled things well.

Sunday night, my in-laws came up and spent some time with the kids. Ava asked Grandma to fix her Belle Bear (a stuffed bear dressed like Princess Belle) because her crown had fallen off. While Grandma spent time doing this, Ava played with the needles and tomato (which I will stop here and point out that I remember doing this while my grandma sewed stuff when I was around) and Josh, like the watchful daddy he is, kept telling her to put them away. Fast forward to Monday night, Josh and the kids are eating dinner at the table. Josh goes to stand up and ends up with a needle sticking out of his toe about an inch and a half. After some loud words, Ava crying, Ava blaming herself, then blaming her daddy, and then her grandma, Josh gets himself cleaned up. Fast forward to Thursday, Josh gets a tetanus shot because he hasn’t had one in the last 5 years.

Right before I left, I taught Josh how to do Addie’s hair. Ava’s hair isn’t so bad because its trained to stay off her face. However, Addie’s hair hangs in her face and drives her crazy (and me too). I taught him how to use the comb, pull it back, and use the rubber bands to secure the hair. His first attempt went pretty well. His second, never happened as he chickened out and had her wear headbands all week. It’s always funny to see the “fashion” that daddy decides on when I’m gone. To any parents in Ava or Addie’s class this past week, I apologize for the way they look and promise that I will try to keep the mismatched patterns, clothes, and shoes at bay (ok, the shoes matched, but I like to tease Josh).

I guess that Addie also had a really hard time this week with me being gone. Ava morphed into a sweet potato who was willing and ready to help (what the hell man? I leave and she gets all helpful?) while Addie turned into the demon spawn a cranky defiant two year old (good girl, missing your mommy). I guess that shows very clearly that Ava is her daddy’s girl and Addie is her mommy’s girl.

Ahhh to be home again. I love the sound of the kids in bed after a day of terrorizing everything in their path. I think I’ll go hug them again while they sleep because being away from the terrible two for that many days really plays with a mommy’s emotions (and apparently a daddy’s arm muscle and his sanity).

I love this show. It’s cute, it’s wholesome, it doesn’t drive me bat-**** crazy I can watch it, and for whatever reason, my girls love it. If you don’t watch, it’s about a repairman who has tools that are alive. They talk and help Manny do his work around town. Each tool has their own personality. There are 8 tools and Manny.

The little blue screwdriver (flathead) is named Turner. He’s somewhat of a pain in the ass complainer who doesn’t like change or when things go wrong. He’s also got a bit of a sarcastic side and has a streak going with Kelli, the hardware store owner, about whether or not she has what they need (she always does, even though he thinks she can’t possibly have the item). 

This morning, we are in the car headed to work and Ava is talking about Handy Manny.

Ava: I know, we can all be Handy Manny. I will be Dusty (the saw), Addie can be Squeeze (the pliers), Mommy can be Rusty (the Monkey Wrench) and Daddy can be Turner.

Daddy: What are you saying?

Mommy: *Laughing* Oh, she pegged you.

Daddy:

Daddy: *trying not to laugh*

Unfortunatly, Ava thought we were laughing at her, so we had to explain that we weren’t laughing at her, but at Daddy. If you know Josh, you know he’s a bit of an old fart crumudgeon, stuck in a 30 year olds body. If you don’t know Josh, by all means, catch an episode of Handy Manny and watch for Turner the Flathead Screwdriver. They really are one in the same!

Addie: Yaya (Ava) Piss?

Amanda: What?

Addie: Yaya Piss?

Amanda:

Josh: What did you say?

Addie: Yaya Piss?

Amanda & Josh: *Looking at each other confused while trying not to laugh*

Josh: Do you mean fish?

Addie: Yes….Piss

This is one of those instances where we should have insisted that Addie remove her bink (pacifier) before trying to complete her sentence.

Yesterday we took the kids sledding. I haven’t been in years because well, I’m an adult and it hasn’t really come up since the days before college. We packed up the kids, and about 2 tons of sledding clothing/equipment and headed for the IL’s. We live in a very flat area with no hills, my IL’s have a great hill in the back yard and it was nice to drive down and see them.

As suspected, Ava was not thrilled about sledding and after a few trips down (one sitting with Josh and one hanging on with all her strength while sitting on his back), she gave up and started throwing snowballs.

Addie was thrilled and giggled everytime she went down. She went down once by herself and while flying down the hill (because the sled did go pretty fast) giggled hysterically until Josh stopped the sled and she launched through the air like a marshmellow from an air gun (nice analogy right?). Thankfully, Josh was quick with his hands and grabbed her mid-air and she only suffered from an onslaught of hilarity.

One of my favorite things about playing in the snow with the kids is watching how they walk in the thick snow clothes. They were extreamly warm, but Addie could barely get up the hill and kept toppling over backwords. Unfortunatly, our camera was not with us (I forgot it at home) so we have no doucmentation of the first time our kids went sledding other than the sled itself. What happened to the sled you ask?

Josh thought it would be fun for us to ride down together. This was a perfect idea until I realized that with the slick hill, our combined weight, and the speed of the sled, we were going to crash. Of course, this was not realized until we were headed right for woods and all the underbrush. As we came to a stop, the sled deflated into a nice sandwich and Josh and I were laughing hysterically.  Sled, I thank you for the time we spent with you. You provided us with lots of laughter, lots of fun, and sadly it was the first time you got to play with us. You will be missed.

Yesterday, we scheduled a few health appointments. We had one for both girls to get the H1N1 second booster shot and then Ava had an eye appointment at noon. We start down the road and both girls are calm and collected. We get to the H1N1 clinic and we get right in. I have to tell you that after the horror stories we had heard regarding the clinics and wait times, I was more than thrilled that both times we went to the clinic, we were in and out in about 45 minutes (and most of that was filling out paper work and checking in. So, we get the girls all checked in and settled and they are both due to get the flu mist. We have Ava go first, and as expected, she freaks out. She starts crying and trying to hide her nose telling us she doesn’t want the “nose shot”. It takes a bit of work, but we are able to get her done. Next up, Addie. She jumps up on her daddy’s lap, sit’s there, and takes it like a self confident little two year old. She didn’t even flinch. It makes me laugh to see the difference in my two children and I’m still wondering if Ava doesn’t suffer from some sort of an anxiety disorder.

After the H1N1 vaccines, we drive to the eye doctor. She’s never before been, so we tell her that there is nothing scary, they just look at your eyes and ask a bunch of questions. I said nothing about the potential for eye drops because there is no way we would have gotten her in the front door. She does a great job, participates, answers all the questions, and then the eye drops come out to dilate her eyes. Of course, those drops sting a bit at first. Our awesome eye doctor got them in, and then we listened to Ava panic about the burn and how she couldn’t open her eyes for about 5 minutes. We calmed her down and removed her from the room for 20 min while the drops did their best.

The good news is that Ava does not yet need glasses. The doctor felt that she was cheating on the eye charts because it’s better to look at things with both eyes than one eye rather than one eye is not as good as the other eye. The bad news, she has an astigmatism. She said that currently they are less than 1 diopter and she doesn’t start to worry until they are greater than 1.5 diopter. She asked to see Ava back next year to see what is happening with the astigmatism. With almost everybody in our family (except me apparently) suffering from this, it comes as no surprise and I wouldn’t be shocked if she’s not in glasses by the time she’s 7-8 years old.

Overall, not a bad day and we still have snow to play in. Now, let me just get through the dentist appointment with ease.

The week before Christmas I cleaned out the kids toys. I took several toys over to the daycare that my kids just didn’t play with anymore. The school accepted all the toys and distributed them around the school. A couple of the toys landed in Ava’s classroom.

The tools that were dropped off were this Magnetic Doll set and a Melissa and Doug Food Set that allows you to cut it up using velcro and a wooden knife. At the end of the day, the teachers in Ava’s room put out a few toys on different tables (1 toy per table) and the kids can float around the classroom and play with them.

When we walked in yesterday, the magnetic dolls were on one table, the food set was on another table, and then there was a table that had fake plastic dinosaurs all over it. There were 3 little girls surrounding the magnetic dolls, 2 little boys playing with the food, and Ava playing with the dinosaurs. I’m guessing I made the right decision to get rid of the toys if she won’t even play with them at school.

The past several nights, Ava has asked to go outside and play in the snow. We haven’t been able to accomodate her for various reasons. Last night, we were unable to take her outside because we didn’t make it home in enough time. Josh got stuck assisting a coworker at work and it made us late.  We explained this to Ava and she was semi-ok with it.

This morning, the snow discussion came up again:

Ava: Daddy, can we go out in the snow tonight?

Daddy: Well, it depends on what time we get home from work tonight.

Ava: If a coworker needs help tonight, mommy should help them.

Josh:

Ava: Mommy is faster and then I can go outside.

Josh:

Amanda (from another room): *Laughing hysterically*

I am a day late in saying it, but Merry Christmas to all. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with your friends and family. If your house is anything like mine, it was chaotic, exciting, and filled with laughter and pain. Let me outline the day for you:

Our day started at 7 AM when our girls ran in and jumped on our bed. We came downstairs, started the cinnamon rolls, and dived right into our presents. As Addie says, Oh ho ho came and he came with plenty of items. Ava ripped into her gifts and would have been done in about 2 min flat if we didn’t limit her to every other present or so. We have a one person unwraps rule in our house (except for Addie since she’s so slow).

We all got lots of great stuff that we loved. Addie received her coveted bum-be-bee (Bumblebee, she’s been obsessed with these ever since Halloween). Ava received her coveted umbrella, but her favorite inside gift was her Leapster and Stuffed iDog w/ ipod (not a new one, my old one when I upgraded). She’s been listening to her ipod and playing her Leapster since (its really kind of cute). Josh received the coveted game emulator where he spent the rest of the day trying to get all types of games on to the system, much to my annoyance. At least he loved it. I think my favorite gift from the family were all of my Chamilia bracelet beads. Josh got me one that was a block O in red/silver/gray. I loved it. I also enjoyed my Drum Kit to Guitar Hero and I’m learning to play it, but not well.

However, the gift that took all (from Santa) were the Power Wheel toys. The girls drove them all over the house and it was hysterical watching them. I’m sure at some point, Josh will get the video up. We are still struggling with Ava’s and teaching her how to drive it, but Addie has figured out hers and its adorable to watch.

Once we had our breakfast and loaded the car, we headed for Grandma & Grandpa’s house. Upon arrival, we found out that Santa had arrived one more time. Everyone walked down the stairs. I decided I would take the faster route and fall down the stairs. Initially, I felt fine and stood back up. However, after several hours later (and now a nights sleep), I’m in a lot of pain and on pain reliever to keep the pain down. I’m fairly certain I either badly bruised my tailbone with a bruised hip and twisted knee or I broke my tailbone with a bruised hip and twisted knee. However, once I got downstairs, the present opening began again.

Ava’s favorite gift was the Bike. Addie’s was this baby doll that walks. It’s a bit creepy but hysterical. At one point, Addie was holding it down face first and it started saying “no no no no no”. This morning, it had the  hiccups. We really enjoyed spending the time with grandma and grandpa and we always appreciate everything they do for us.

After hanging out with Grandma & Grandpa for awhile, we drove to mommy’s uncles house for the 3rd Christmas of the day. We hung around with family, talked, played, and once more opened gifts. Ava & Addie received some My Little Pony toys, a video, and this humongous stuffed puppy dog. I received the Transformers DVD. **Please hold as I sing the theme song in my head**

Overall, it was a “More than Meets the Eye” Christmas. Ha ha ha, did you see what I did there?

Anyway, after the party at my Uncle’s house, we went back to Grandma & Grandpa’s and hung around for awhile longer. We met up with the rest of the family (Jordan, Steven, Rodney, & Dorthy) and enjoyed some family time. Of course, it was getting late and time to get two tired girls home and to bed.

It took Addie exactly 5 minutes to fall asleep on the way home and Ava was out about 20 minutes later. They slept through straight until this morning when they woke up at 8 AM.

The best part, we have another Family Christmas with mommy’s family tomorrow and the excitement will begin all over again. WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO, Party time.